Broken Open
by ThatPanicGirlE
Summary: SEQUEL to INDENTION OF THE HEART: What happens when Bella begins to regret leaving Edward? Will Jasper be able to convince her it was the right thing to do? Or will Edward win her back? M/L/S AH
1. Chapter 1

**Broken Open  
The sequel to "Indention of the Heart"  
ThatPanicGirle**

**A/N: I pondered, and thought, and pondered some more about what I wanted to do with the sequel or whether or not it would happen. I like the idea of continuing this story and I've had a couple of PMs asking for it. It will be a slow progression, but it will happen. Just don't give up on me. I'm not exactly the most punctual poster or writer, but when the idea hits me, I will write it out. Thanks to everyone for bearing with me throughout "Indention," and I look forward to finishing the saga of Edward/Bella & Bella/Jasper.**

**And now for "Broken Open." Adam Lambert, you made this possible. Too bad you'll never know it.**

**(All material, people, persons and places are the sole property of Ms. Stephanie Meyer. Don't worry, I promise to NOT copyright any of this. On my Girl Scout's honor.)**

_I know the battles of chasing the shadows of who you wanna be  
It doesn't matter, go on and shatter  
I'm all you need  
Broken pieces, break into me  
So imperfectly what you should be  
Lay here, it's safe here, I'll let you be broken open  
Hide here, confide here so we can be broken open_  
Broken Open - Adam Lambert

_"Bella Swan, you are the only girl I ever loved, and if it takes a century to show you how much you meant to me, I'll keep trying. I can't let you go this easily."_

_He walked out and I had a feeling that my days with Edward Cullen hadn't come to an end just yet._

**Edward**

The worst pain in the world is knowing when you've screwed up. I know this pain, and I want it to go away. However much I hate it, I have no choice but to endure it. I know in my heart that the things I've done were completely stupid. I've had issues with letting go of things for far too long. When my parents passed away, I was left holding onto their memory, and when Bella came into my life, I was scared. I wanted her to stay with me forever, and I couldn't bear to lose her too. Ironically in the end, it was my possessiveness that pushed her away. She was happy with Jasper, and as much as it pained me, I thought I should let her be happy. I now know that I'll stop at nothing to make her see that I love her and that I want to be with her.

No more games.

I have to be changed Edward or else this will fail.

So, I sit here in Seattle, looking over the city, trying to figure out the best way to get her back in my life. I heard today from Alice that things are moving fast in Forks, and I've got to get back home before Bella makes up her mind about which man she wants in her life.

**Bella**

"What are you doing?" I asked Jasper as he pulled over on the side of the road. We'd only driven five miles from the house before he'd pulled out a blindfold and asked me to put it on. I looked at him strangely, of course, but I obliged.

"I want all this to be a surprise," he said as he tied the knot behind my head. "Now just be patient and don't ask a lot of questions. You know how much I hate keeping all this from you."

I smiled as I felt him put the Jeep back into drive. We drove for another five or ten minutes, and he stopped. I reached for the blindfold, but he pushed my hand away. "No, not until we're inside. I'm coming around to let you out." Every part of my being wanted to peek, but I didn't want to ruin his hard work, so I waited. I heard the door open and the rush of the cold, North West wind wisp around me. He grabbed my hand, helped me out and led me up a set up steps. I heard a familiar sound of a door, but I couldn't quite place it.

"Where are we?" I asked.

"Bella, please, just wait. We're almost there," he replied.

Then I smelled it; it was the familiar scent of … the Forks High School's cafeteria?

"Okay, you can take it off now," Jasper whispered at my ear.

I snatched the blindfold off and gasped. Jasper had gone as far as decorating the entire cafeteria in flowers and candles. All the tables and chairs had been pushed away, and only one, big, round table remained in the center. There were two plates, with a really nice centerpiece placed on the table. It was a very elaborate set up, and I can't imagine how long it took him to decorate everything.

"Jasper, I… this is beautiful. "How?" I stammered

"I had a little help," he said smiling. Of course he had. I looked across to the kitchen, spying blonde hair and a short crop cut, and then I heard giggles, followed by the door to the kitchen slamming. Alice and Rosalie. Figures.

Jasper led me to the table and pulled the chair out for me. He sat down next to me before drawing the bottle of chilled champagne from the bucket to pour us each a glass. "Happy Anniversary, Bella. I cannot believe it's been a year since you agreed to love me forever."

I felt tears welling up in my eyes. Jasper always thought of everything. Earlier today, I'd gone off to Alice and Rosalie because I thought he forgot. Now that I thought about it, I bet they'd had a hard time keeping this a secret.

"This is amazing, baby. I just can't believe you did all this for me."

"Why not? You are worth it, and so much more." I blushed and dropped my head. After all this time, it still felt odd when he would give me compliments.

I heard the door open to the kitchen, and Alice appeared in an apron with two plates of food. I glanced down and saw cheeseburgers and fries. "Enjoy," she said, reaching into her apron pockets and pulling out two canned cokes.

"Cheeseburgers?" I asked Jasper. He nodded as Alice skipped away.

"This was on the menu for lunch, the very first day I saw you in this exact cafeteria," he said, handing me the ketchup. I opened the bun to slather the red stuff on it when I noticed that my burger was hollowed out, and sitting in the middle of it was a black box. I looked at Jasper, and he smiled. I tore the rest of the burger apart to pull out the box, and as I opened it, my heart sped. I closed my eyes and reopened them to the most beautiful diamond I had every laid my eyes on.

Jasper stood, got on one knee, saying, "Isabella Swan, from the very first moment I saw you, I knew I wanted to be with you for the rest of my life. We've both been through hell and back, yet here we are together. I would walk through an eternity of hell just to have you with me. I guess what I'm asking you Bella is will you marry me?"

Tears streamed down my face as I nodded my head. "Yes, Jasper, yes, yes, yes," I said as he picked me up and spun me around in his arms. He stopped and kissed me hard.

"I love you so much," he said, holding me tight.

"I love you," I said, not ever wanting to let go.

**Jasper**

Asking Charlie for Bella's hand in marriage was the most difficult task I'd ever had to face. Not only did I have to do it in front of him but some of his fishing buddies too. I was nervous as hell, but it went really well. After Charlie saw that I could fish, he didn't mind his daughter marrying me. Apparently, Charlie had taken Edward fishing once, and he'd complained about the bugs the entire time.

After I asked Bella to marry me, the two princesses, Rosalie and Alice, took over. Every evening when I would come home from work, there would be bridal magazines and planners spread out all over the kitchen table, and Bella was scribbling on tiny pieces of paper which outfits she liked more and which cake topper was the best. It was quite amusing to see her so enthralled in something like this. She was never one to take things so seriously, and you could tell she was having fun with it all.

The only thing we disagreed on was the venue.

Bella wanted to get married at the Cullen Estate, and I refused. It's not that I didn't love Rosalie and Emmett for everything they've done, but I just felt uncomfortable having it there.

I wanted to get married on the beach or somewhere a little more romantic.

As the weeks flew by, everything fell right on track though, and eventually, we had agreed on something. Even though it wasn't exactly romantic, it held a special place in our hearts. We agreed to let Alice and Rosalie attack the school cafeteria for our wedding. Believe it or not, Alice was the one who suggested it after she saw how much Bella and I argued over the final place.

Bella even had her dress ready to go. The bridesmaid's dresses were in place, and we had only three months left.

Then everything hit a brick wall.

I'll never forget the phone call.

The pain in her voice resounded through my ears as she fought to make out the words. She was sobbing so hard all I could hear was, "He's gone, Jasper."

"Who's gone?" I asked, and when she wouldn't answer, I panicked. She hung up on me as the sobs continued.

I jumped into my Jeep and fled the job site in Port Angeles, racing home to Forks. I burst through the door to find Bella in Alice's arms on the couch. Her face was flooded with tears, and Alice was trying to console her.

"What's going on?" I pleaded with Alice.

"Bella's dad had a heart attack out on the water today. They couldn't get him back to land fast enough."

"He's gone?" I asked.

Alice nodded. I reached down, pulling Bella into my lap and held her tight. "I'm so sorry, baby." I pulled her hair away from her face, and she looked at me straight in the eyes, saying, "Why? Why Dad?" I felt my heart break when I couldn't come up with an answer. All I could do was pull her back into my embrace and hold her close.

The next 24 hours were hard to deal with. Bella wouldn't eat and could burst into tears at any moment. She would cry so hard that she would make herself sick. She spent a couple of hours on the bathroom floor, and she just stopped being. Harry Clearwater and his wife Sue helped with the funeral arrangements as much as they could. Bella couldn't handle being in the same room as the funeral planner and excused herself early. I found her upstairs in her dad's bedroom, holding his pillow tight. She refused to talk to me.

The next couple of days were even harder. At the wake, Bella sat on Charlie's recliner and refused to talk to anyone. He requested that his body be cremated and his ashes spread over the lake where he and Harry fished. The day of the funeral was the hardest, though.

Bella walked up the hill to the lakeside where everyone had gathered. She held Alice's hand and mine tight as she tried hard to be strong. Her eyes were puffy and black from crying so much, and I didn't know it was possible for her to look thinner, but her face looked sunken in, destroyed by losing her father.

As the funeral progressed, Harry gave the most beautiful eulogy about how great of a man Charlie was. Almost the entire town had shown up for it, and as Bella and I walked to the water's edge, Bella stared down at her reflection in the water. She whispered, "I love you, Daddy," and opened the box containing Charlie's ashes, spreading them out across the water. She closed the urn, and I pulled her close to me. I kissed the top of her head before I walked her back to her seat. The town crowded around her, shaking her hand or hugging her, but she barely spoke a single word to anyone. After everyone cleared out, Bella refused to move, so I stayed right beside her. She stared out over the water, and it felt like she had gone with Charlie. Her smile, her light had disappeared right along with him, and I felt helpless to stop it.

Alice was motioning for me to follow her up the hill since I had to tell everyone where to meet for dinner, and I reluctantly walked away, watching Bella carefully.

I turned my back to ask Harry a question, and when I turned back around, I saw a tall, bronze haired man kneeling down beside her, holding her hand. It took only me a second to realize it was Edward, and I immediately saw red. How dare he show up on a day like this to bother Bella? I charged towards her as Emmett stopped me.

"Whoa, bro. Give him a second. He just wants to show Bella his sympathy for the loss of her father. If you go down there making a scene, it'll make it harder on her. Just give them a second. If he starts his shit, I'll help remove him." I nodded and watched him like a hawk.

**Bella**

Darkness.

That's all I could see; it was all I could feel. Even Jasper, who was my light in the dark couldn't help pull me out of all this. I hated life; I hated everything about living without my father. How could this happen? He was supposed to be there for me in everything. He was supposed to walk me down the aisle. The moment I realized he wouldn't do that, I almost lost it again, until a familiar voice shook me out of my panic attack.

"Bella, I'm… I'm so sorry about Charlie. He was a good man." I looked up and saw Edward standing beside me.

I gazed back, saying, "Why the hell does everyone keep telling me that? I know who my father was."

Edward knelt down beside me and tried to find the words, but you could see he had no idea what to say to me. It was the same reaction that everyone had when I'd ask a question like that. No one would have any answers for me.

"I think they keep saying it because we have no idea what else to say to each other when something happens to someone we love." His eyes were soft, mellow. They were the eyes that I fell in love with at the age of 16, and I reached for his hand. It was the first time in days that I felt like myself, and I felt a little guilty that I could be like this with Edward, and not Jasper. Edward was comfort for me, though. I had to remember in the back of my mind that I wasn't with him, but it felt awesome to have his hand in mine again.

"I'll be in town for a couple of days. If you need to talk, I'm staying at Rosalie and Emmett's." I nodded as I watched Edward walk away. I took my eyes off him for one second to see Jasper's hurt expression staring down at me.

What the hell was I thinking?

**A/N: Well folks, that's just the beginning. Ever heard the old saying, "We do the strangest things to help us cope after we lose someone we love?" Well this may end up being the case. Chapter 2 to follow soon, and thanks so much for sticking with this. It was hard to write. Thanks to my beta CereuleanBlue for her awesome beta job. Thanks to poochi_mama aka JennyP for always being my support and to the rest of my Team Fire & Ice / SouthernTwiNite ladies. And to HanFauxLo, you are my rock. I love you and thanks for being my "Jasper."**

**E.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

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**_A/N: "I want Bella back with Edward…" _

_"I want her to stay with Jasper…" _

_I love my reviewers, I really do. You guys crack me up with the reviews, and even though I know how this will end, I love how everyone debates over what will happen. Thanks to my beta, Cereuleanblue who always does a great job and to all my readers, you make this crazy thing called fandom go round! 3 y'all hardcore!_

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_**Jasper**

A couple of days passed before Bella spoke another word.

I would be lying if I said it wasn't difficult to deal with. She would barely look at me, and each time I'd try to converse with her about my daily dealings, she would tune me out, staring off into space instead. I suggested dinner out one night, and she shook her head before going back up stairs to Charlie's bedroom.

She wouldn't leave the house.

Before Charlie died, she was practically living with me in Port Angeles, and now, she wouldn't leave his house. I didn't mind staying with her here, but she tossed and turned at night, never resting as much as she should. I suggested something to make her sleep, but she refused. Then the vomiting started each morning and night. I figured it was because she was crying so hard during the day, and it would make her sick to her stomach.

After a couple of days of Bella not being herself, I was about to throw my hands in the air and suggest that she see someone. Before I could say anything, I came home one afternoon to Bella not only dressed up but with dinner cooked and on the table, surprising me with a bottle of champagne.

"Um, hi?" I asked as I walked in the door.

"Hey baby," she said wrapping her tiny arms around my neck. She practically jumped into my embrace.

"Is everything okay?" I asked.

She nodded. "I feel great. It's been an awesome day. Alice came over. We went shopping and had a great time together."

I looked at her with an odd expression on my face. Just eight hours before, I'd left Bella curled into a lump on the couch, like I had done every day for the previous week.

"Well, I'm glad you're feeling better," I said, hugging her tight.

"I made dinner for you. There's fried chicken, corn on the cob and sweet peas."

I smiled down at her. She was as beautiful as I remembered her being before her father passed away. Her color had returned and her eyes that had begun to lose their brightness had found the light again. It was as if I were staring at a reborn Bella Swan. My light had returned.

"It smells delicious, let's go eat," I said, grabbing her hand.

She piled my plate high with food and put more on her plate than I'd seen her eat in a week. She sat next to me at the table, almost giddy. She looked as though she had something important to tell me.

"So how was your day?" she asked, stuffing her mouth full of sweet peas.

"It was okay. We got a ton of work done at the house." I was working on a house that belonged to a friend of Harry Clearwater. It was starting to take a toll on me physically, but Emmett came on board for a bit to help. He was given a week of paid vacation from the firm for excellent sales that month, and he spent it with me. It was a huge help, and Rosalie didn't mind. She figured he needed a break from being a dad, a husband and everything else in between.

"Well I can't wait to see the finished product," she said, smiling. I put my fork down on my plate, sat back, and said. "Okay, spill it. You're hiding something from me. You know I hate it when you do this."

She smiled and said, "I know I haven't been the easiest person to deal with the past couple of days, and I'm sorry. I wanted to surprise you with something that I think we both need."

She pushed away from the table, headed into the living room, and came back with an envelope. I looked at it, and she said, "Go ahead, open it."

I peeled the flap back slowly. Sitting inside were two tickets to Los Angeles.

"I figured a small vacation would do us good. We could go sight-seeing during the day time, find the stars' houses using one of those crappy maps and just enjoy ourselves. It would get us away from Forks for a while so we could enjoy ourselves."

I stared down at the tickets and smiled. "We could use it as our honeymoon tickets," I said.

She frowned.

"What's wrong?"

"I'm just not ready to plan the rest of the wedding yet, with all that's gone on," she said, nearly in tears. "I just don't think I can do it right now."

I nodded and pulled her close to me. "Then a vacation it is then. When do we leave?"

"After you finish the house you're working on. They are tentative tickets, and we can use them whenever we want."

"Great, I can't wait," I said. She ate the rest of her dinner in silence.

**Bella**

Jasper said his goodbye to me just like he had done every morning since my father died. He left me to my tears, my blanket, and my mindless early morning television programming. It had become a routine I was growing accustomed to. I didn't care if showered, ate, or even slept till two in the afternoon. Nothing seemed to matter to me anymore. I felt bad that I couldn't show some sort of life to Jasper. After all, he had done so much for me the past week. I owed it to him to be normal, but I just couldn't do it.

As Drew Carrey was laughing at a woman who fell on her ass while spinning the big wheel, I heard a knock at the door. Alice would normally come over during the day to sit with me for a while. She would bring food or something for me to read.

I yelled, "It's open," expecting Alice to walk through the door, but it wasn't her.

"Hi." Edward was standing in my living room. He hadn't been inside this house since the day we moved to Seattle. Every time we would visit with my dad, we would meet away from the house or over at the Cullen Estate.

"Hello," I said, dropping my head. He was the last person I would have expected to walk through that door.

"I came to check on you. Alice said you haven't left the house in over a week. I really think you need to get out of this place."

"Who are you to come in here and tell me what I need to do?"

"Someone who cares about your well being. Now get up, go shower and get dressed. You're going with me."

"I'm not going anywhere with you, Edward Cullen. I'm sitting my ass right here, watching crappy soap operas, and being glad that my life doesn't suck that much."

He laughed. "Babe, unless you've forgotten, our lives _are_ like those crappy soap operas. Now, get your ass up, get dressed and let's go."

"Where are we going?" I asked.

"We're going to lunch first, and then shopping for some new shoes."

"I don't need new shoes," I said, putting my sliders on.

"They aren't for you; they're for me. I need a new pair for work, and I value and trust your opinion. Now, get up."

I sat on the couch for a moment longer before I finally stood up. I was wearing the rattiest PJs I owned, my hair was in knots because I hadn't brushed or washed it today, and my breath probably reeked. I grabbed my robe, trotting upstairs to climb in the shower and wash away all the dirt, grime, snot, tears and frustration I've felt over the past week. As I stood to rinse my hair, I tried to figure out why I felt so obliged to Edward for getting me off the couch, when for the whole week, Jasper wouldn't.

I rinsed my hair and finally got dressed in actual clothes for the first time in days.

Edward was waiting for me patiently downstairs when I made my way down.

"Now that's much, much better," he said. "Get your bag, and let's go."

We drove into Port Angeles to grab lunch at a small bistro that I liked. I couldn't believe how easy the conversation flowed between Edward and me. He was so easy to talk to. I actually was able to talk about my dad with him without tearing up once, and we talked about his parents and the things he'd gone through when they died.

When lunch was over, we went shopping for a new pair of dress shoes for him. It didn't take long, but we continued shopping around for a while. I bought some new shirts, even though I hardly ever shop for myself. Since I'd left Edward, I was really careful about my money, because I didn't make much at the school. It felt odd splurging on something like this. Edward convinced me that it was just money, and I could always make more.

By the time the afternoon wound up, I almost hated going home, but I hit my hand on the door to his car, remembering Jasper and the engagement ring.

"Edward, I think I need to go home. Jasper will be home shortly, and I would hate it if he knew I'd been out with you all day."

Edward's face grew somber. "I understand." He finished opening the door for me, and we drove in silence to the house. As he pulled into the driveway, I looked over at him. "Please, don't tell anyone I was with you today."

"Too late, Alice already knows."

"Okay, but no one else please. Jasper wouldn't like it too much. You know how he is."

Edward nodded. "Yeah, a little overbearing if you ask me."

I gave Edward an eat-shit-and-die look. "Like you have room to talk, Edward." His face turned to stone.

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

"You're what?" I wasn't sure I heard him correctly.

"I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry for all those times I was overbearing and wouldn't let you be you. I'm sorry for the way I treated you, and I'm sorry I never made you feel like you were smart, beautiful, wonderful person, because you are."

I was speechless. Edward had never admitted to being wrong that quickly.

"I feel the need to accept your apology," I said, choosing my words carefully, "but forgiving is a whole other thing. You've done so much damage to my self-confidence; it's taken almost a year for me to get it back. Honestly, I thank Jasper for that."

His face grew red, like he was about to go off on one of his Edward tirades, but he didn't which shocked me even more.

"Bella, just tell me that Jasper is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. If he is, then I'll back off, but something tells me, somewhere deep in that mind and heart of yours, you want me back. You may not realize it now, but soon you will."

I stood up and slammed the door to his car with bags in tow. I didn't even look back at him when he sped off down the street. Then guilt began to overcome me, and I called Alice in a panic.

"I can't believe I was so stupid," I said, biting my nails.

"Well, you know I'll keep my mouth shut," she said. "I'll cover for you, but you've seriously got to make up your mind if you want Edward in or out of your life."

"I know, I know. I love Jasper, I really do, but Edward is familiar to me. Edward was all I knew before I met Jasper again."

She yawned, "Well, I'll put it to you like this. Next time, if Edward comes busting through your door again, hit him over the head with a baseball bat and do us all a favor. He woke me up at five this morning, wondering what he should do. I told him to do whatever. I was tired of him bugging me."

"So, you basically told him to do it," I huffed.

"I didn't mean to, really. I was aggravated with being woken up that early in the morning. I was out till three doing a showing with Aro."

"Fine, but from now on, I have to stay away from him or else this could be bad. I don't trust myself around him."

"Good idea," she yawned again. "I'm going to go take a nap. Good luck."

I paced back and forth, feeling more and more guilt building up inside of me. Then, I got it.

Edward couldn't bug me if I was far away from him. I instantly got online to book two tentative tickets to Los Angeles for Jasper and I. Then, I got dressed and fixed dinner for him to show my appreciation for all that he'd done for me.

One way or another, I had to keep Edward away.

If not, this could get really ugly, fast.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Short, sweet, simple: Thanks to my bad ass beta CereuleanBlue and my Team Fire & Ice ladies (and gents). Kisses to my readers and major bewb snuggles to you all!

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**Edward**

"I know it was a bad idea," I said to Alice as we washed the dishes together. I'd promised Rosalie and Emmett I would leave as soon as my apartment was ready here in Forks and had decided to commute to work until I got everything in order.

"Well, you're confusing Bella, and she really doesn't need that right now. She's gone through enough already. You need to back off." I slammed my plate down into the sudsy water and backed away from the sink. Bubbles flew everywhere, even into Alice's hair.

"What is wrong with you?" Alice asked.

"I'm sick of people telling me to leave her alone. You, Emmett, hell Jasper is always on me about staying away from his girlfriend. Can't everyone just let Bella decide?"

"When Bella isn't around you, she can decide. You coming into the picture makes her doubt her decisions. Just stay away for a while okay?" Alice blew causing the suds that rested in the hair atop her forehead to fly haphazardly through the air in front of her.

"Why should I stay away?" I asked innocently.

"Edward, she's getting married," she replied, the exasperation evident in her tone of voice.

I stopped picking at a spot on my watch. "She's what?"

"Didn't you see the ring on her finger?"

I thought about it for a second. I'd never even noticed it until Alice said something. "I didn't… I just…" I stammered, unsure of how to answer.

"Edward, she needs to move on with her life… please?" Alice begged.

I felt the anger rise in my chest like bile, boiling and bubbling around my heart. "She's getting married to that carpenter? What the hell? Why didn't you tell me until now?"

"Because I knew you'd act like you still owned her. Edward, please just let Bella go for her and for all of us. This is getting way out of hand."

I reached for my cell phone to call Bella. I had to convince her to not marry him.

"Who are you calling?" Alice asked.

"Bella," I replied sharply.

"Edward, don't," Alice spoke gently, in a sharp contrast to my hotheadedness.

"Don't tell me what to do, Alice. I'm a grown man." The ringing in my ear was quickly replaced with the robotic sound of Bella's voicemail greeting. I slammed the phone shut with a loud snap. "Fuck," I yelled, reaching for my keys.

"Where do you think you are going?" Alice asked, worry filling her voice.

"I'm going to her house," I yelled back.

"It won't do you any good. She's not home."

I stopped again. "Where is she?"

Alice looked away. I walked up to her and grabbed her arms. "Alice, where is she?"

"She's on vacation with Jasper. Now, just leave her alone and get your hands off me." She struggled out of my grasp.

I ran my fingers through my hair. "I'm sorry," I said, trying to compose myself.

"Edward, I know you love Bella still, but she has to make this decision on her own. Give her some space. Please?"

"Fine, I'll do just that. I'll sit here with my thumb up my ass while that blonde bastard steals the only thing I've ever cared about in this world." I grabbed my keys and walked out of the house. I needed time to think and figure things out.

I drove around for a while, hitting the back roads that Bella and I used to drive around on for hours. I smiled as I thought of the day she accepted my high school ring to wear as hers. That led to an engagement ring and, finally, a wedding band. I looked down at my ring finger where it once sat, and a huge weight landed on my chest. I reached for my phone again and sent Bella a text message that simply said, "My heart is empty without you. I know you don't love me anymore, but I love you so much."

I hit send and threw the phone on the dash. I waited patiently for a reply that never came.

**Bella**

Getting away from Edward was probably the best thing I could have done for Jasper and I. As we sat across from one another at the bistro the concierge had recommended to us, I couldn't help but feel giddy. Jasper wore his hair tied back and smiled at me as I sipped my tea.

"So tell me, Ms. Swan. Since this is our time to "reconnect," how about you tell me some things about yourself that you've not mentioned yet."

I gave him a coy smile and said, "What kinds of things would you like to hear about?"

"Well you know, the basics. What did you want to grow up to be? How old were you when you learned to walk? Those kinds of things."

"Are we playing twenty questions or something?"

"Maybe," he said, flirting back.

"Well, I'm not sure how old I was when I learned to walk. I'll have to go back through my baby book when we get home to figure all that out. And as far as what I wanted to be when I grew up, don't laugh okay?"

"I promise," he said.

"I wanted to be a US Marshall." Jasper nearly spit up his tea.

"A US Marshall? Why on Earth would you ever want to do that? I can't picture you carrying a gun." He chuckled at the thought.

"You promised you wouldn't laugh," I said, putting my hands on my hips.

"I'm sorry, please continue," he said, wiping tea off his chin.

"Do remember the movie "The Fugitive" with Harrison Ford? The remake, not the original."

"Of course," he said.

"Well, one weekend while Charlie was out of town, his friend Sue came over to babysit me. I was around ten when it first came out, and I begged my dad to see it. He wouldn't let me even look at the cover of it when it came out. So the night she came over, she brought it to watch, and I was amazed. I loved Tommy Lee Jones, and every day from that point on, I was all about becoming a US Marshall. Dad thought it was cute, until he realized Sue had let me watch the movie. Then he was livid." I laughed at the memory of it. Dad had been so upset with Sue about that incident, over such a silly little thing as a movie.

Jasper laughed. "Well I always wanted to be a carpenter. Ever since I was little, I loved building blocks, and my parents just knew. My dad got me a set of Lincoln Logs when I was five. I got my first job at 16 as a grunt worker on a construction site. From that point on, I've always done it."

The afternoon lunch was beautiful. We talked more about our childhood and the things we missed from it. We talked about high school and how much our lives changed once we walked out that door. As we walked hand in hand back to the hotel, my phone buzzed. I thought I'd turned it off but accidentally left it on. I quickly put it into my pocket and tried to ignore the fact that Edward's name had popped up on the screen.

Jasper and I went back into the hotel room and sat down on the couch in the living room portion. I kicked my shoes off.

"I'm going to go take a shower, if you don't mind," I said as I walked up to him. I dropped my jacket off on the coffee table in front of Jasper as he flipped through the channels. I leaned down to give him a lingering kiss, which I thought was enough of a signal to let him know that I wanted him to join me. He smiled and said, "I'll be there in a moment."

The warm water flowed freely against my skin while I lathered up my arms and shoulders. I smiled as I thought of what it would be like to have Jasper doing this for me instead. I waited patiently, but Jasper never came into the bathroom. Just as I was about to get out, I saw him standing in the doorway of the bathroom in only his boxers with a very disturbing expression on his face.

"Why is Edward texting you stuff like this?" he asked, holding up my cell phone.

I couldn't answer.

**Jasper**

Seeing Bella enjoy herself for the first time in weeks had made me the happiest person in the world. It was so refreshing to watch her have a good time in LA, regardless of the things that had been going on with her dad. I wanted to bring up the wedding again sometime during the weekend, but I was scared to death she would shoot down the idea. I kept hoping she would bring it up again herself, but I hadn't seen any sign of it.

We spent the weekend shopping and enjoying each other's company, and it was at dinner that I realized that Bella was feeling more like herself. She was able to say Charlie's name, and it didn't seem to bother her as much as it once did.

So when Bella kissed me the way she did, I was ready to help her relax even more. I couldn't wait to feel her warm body against mine in the shower. It was so damn sexy just to see the water drip down her body.

After she shut the door to the shower, I stood and stripped down to my boxers. Then her coat pocket buzzed. As I reached down, a part of me said to just let it be; it was nothing. Another part of me, a part which I wished I'd ignored, told me to read it; no harm could come from it.

And I read it.

There was definitely harm in it. When I read the words, "My heart is empty without you. I know you don't love me anymore, but I love you so much," I saw red. I stood for what seemed like an eternity debating on whether or not to confront Bella about this. Half naked, I paced back and forth in the living room until finally; I said out loud, "Fuck it." I walked towards the bathroom.

I could make out the silhouette of Bella in the shower, so I waited patiently for her to emerge. Finally, the water turned off, and as the door slid open, I could see from the expression on her face that she knew something was up.

"Why is Edward texting you stuff like this?" I asked. She just looked at me, confused until she got it.

"I... I don't know Jasper. Really." She looked away, and I could tell she wasn't being completely truthful.

"You're lying Bella. I can always tell when you are. So what is up with Cullen?" I asked the question, even though I wasn't sure I wanted to hear the answer.

"He's… he's not over me yet," she said, biting her bottom lip. She hadn't even put a towel around her yet. The water dripped from the ends of her hair and rolled down her body towards the floor. Normally, the very sight of her body would have driven me to distraction, but the only thing I could see were those words on the tiny screen of her phone.

"Do I need to take matters into my own hands again?" I asked, and she quickly shook her head.

"I know what you did to him last time. Let me handle it, okay?" Bella reached for her robe but I snatched it away before she could get to it. She came closer to me, and suddenly, the rage that had been building inside of me turned into sexual lust. I put my arm around her waist, hosting her up onto the counter in the bathroom. I spread her legs wide open and whispered into her hair, "You belong to me Bella, no one else. You are my honey, mine and no one else's." She gasped as my tongue trailed down her neck. She reached down, pulling my hips closer to her center.

"And you are my baby, and no one else's," she whispered back. Our lips met in a crushing blow as her legs wrapped around me, tightly. I entered her slowly, letting every inch search deep inside her. She let out a wimpier and a sigh. I slipped slightly out of her and crashed hard back into her again, nearly raising her off the counter top. I could feel her about to come as she started panting in my ear.

"Come for me Bella," I whispered back to her. She exploded all around me, and as she was coming down, I felt myself do the same inside her. She looked up at me, saying, "I think you should be more angry, often."

I smiled, "Well if Cullen keeps this shit up, you may just get that."

"Do me a favor though," Bella said as she stood up to clean off. "Give me some privacy. I don't go through your cell phone."

I nodded, "Agreed, but if Cullen starts anything, I'm going to be nosey all I want. I have to make sure nothing happens to my Bella."

She nodded and embraced me again. I rested my chin on the top of her head and held my Bella close.

* * *

Le sigh... more to come soon.


	4. Chapter 4

_It's not like you didn't know that  
I said I love you and I swear I still do  
And it must have been so bad  
Cause living with me must have damn near killed you_

_And this is how you remind me  
Of what I really am  
This is how you remind me  
Of what I really am_  
_**How You Remind Me - Nickelback**_

**Jasper**

Bella and I returned to her empty house three days after the text from Edward. I tried my hardest to not think of the things he'd said, but each time I saw her phone, I was expecting the next text message or call to be from him. When Bella's phone rang, I was right up under her, and I think she started realizing it. I didn't mean to do it, but I constantly caught myself getting into her business.

It's not that I didn't trust her.

I didn't trust him.

Days went by, and not a single text or call came from Cullen. I eased up on the nosiness, and I felt like everything was finally getting back to normal.

**Bella**

I honestly felt like a prisoner in my own house. When my phone went off, Jasper always had to know who it was. When I would reach for my phone to call someone, he would ask who I was calling. After about a week of it, I'd finally had enough of the questions and enough of the non–trust issue and opted to stop answering the phone. I didn't even bother to call Alice.

By the second week, I'd had enough.

"Okay, I get that he doesn't trust Edward, but what have I done that was so bad that he couldn't trust me? I'm trying so hard to make him understand that I love him, but this is becoming too much. If I wanted someone standing over me twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, I would have stayed married to Edward."

Alice and Rosalie both tapped their beer bottle with their fingers.

"To be honest, Bella, and this is just me being a great friend, you kind of have done some things to make Jasper not trust you. You just haven't gotten caught yet," Alice said, staring at me.

I looked at her and thought about it for a minute. She was right. The time I snuck off with Edward to Port Angeles and didn't tell Jasper. I felt as small as the straw on the table.

"Do you think I should tell him about that?" I asked. Rosalie shook her head. "No. I don't think it would be a good idea. I don't think it'll come up in conversation."

"Are you suggesting she lies?" Alice asked. "That's the last thing she needs to do. She needs to be open and honest with Jasper. He'll be okay with her honesty."

I stared off into space as the two of them debated over my honesty. By the time the bill was paid and I was drunker than a skunk that fell into a vat of bourbon, it was settled that I would tell Jasper the truth about the trip to Port Angeles.

Rosalie dropped me off at my house later that night. As I stumbled up the steps to my house, I put the key into the door, and before I could open it, Jasper swung the door open.

"Are you okay?" he asked as I grabbed the door frame to steady myself.

"I'm fine. How are you," I said, giggling.

"You're drunk. Get in here before you hurt yourself."

Jasper led me to the couch as I tripped over everything in the house. I plopped down and put a pillow over my face.

"What on Earth were you up to?"

"Alice, Rosalie and I had a little too much to drink tonight… I think?" I said, giggling again.

**Jasper**

"Well I think you need to sober up a little bit." I stood to grab a bottle of water for Bella.

"And I think you need to quit worrying so much about me," she said, taking the bottle from me.

Bella sat up, stared at the fireplace for a moment and said, "Would you forgive me if I said I lied about something unimportant?"

I sat up with her. "What do you consider unimportant?"

She took a sip of her water and stared at me for a moment. "Do you remember the night I gave you the tickets to L.A.?" I nodded.

"Well, remember how I said it was Alice who took me to Port Angeles?"

I nodded again.

"It wasn't Alice. It was Edward."

I felt my body heat up. I sat for a moment, letting the new found information soak into my brain. At first, I thought I would hit the roof. I tried to not lose it, but it was too late.

"What the fuck do you mean it was Edward? Are you losing your fucking mind letting him take you anywhere?" I yelled.

"Jasper, it was innocent; I swear. He just got me out of the house for a while."

"Innocent, huh? How about all those times I sat here beside you begging you to get up, wash your hair and let me take you somewhere? Anywhere but this place? You wouldn't budge." I ran my fingers through my hair and stared at her. She just sat there, not saying a word.

"This hurts Bella. He was able to get you up off this couch and into the real world again. Do you know how that makes me feel?"

She looked up at me. "Do you think I expected him to do that?"

I didn't even know what that meant.

"No, I expected you to let me help you… to take care of you. But instead, you let him do it. I'm just… I don't even have words right now, Bella." I walked to the door, grabbed my coat, my keys and left, slamming the door behind me.

**Bella**

"Alice, I need you…" I sobbed at the other end of the line.

"Did you tell him?" she asked.

"I did, and he's very angry at me Alice. I… I don't know what to do."

"I'm not in any shape to drive. Aro will be home in an hour. I'll be over as soon as I can." She hung up with me, and I stood on my porch, looking for any sign of Jasper.

An hour turned into two, and the fact that Alice hadn't come yet made me worry. I dialed her number again. This time, Aro answered.

"Bella, hi." He said at the other end.

"Hi Aro," I sniffled out. "Is Alice around?"

He giggled, "Actually, Alice is passed out on the couch. Are you okay?" he asked.

Great. She fell asleep. "I'm okay," I lied. "Tell her to call me tomorrow when she wakes up."

"I will," Aro said. He hung up with me, and I stared off into the night sky. As I rolled over my contact list, Edward's name showed up.

I placed my finger down and hit send.

**Edward**

"I'll be there shortly… I'll park at the end of the street. Yeah, I know; we need to talk…"

* * *

**A/N: Please, for the love of the God almighty above don't be angry with me for no updates. Good news? I got fired on Friday so you'll have tons more updates... bad news... I don't have a job… oh well. I'd rather write anyway ;) **

**Thanks to my bad ass beta CereuleanBlue for always turning my piles of shit into gold. Flove you hard lady. To my Team Fire & Ice h00rs, you are the best.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Bella**

The cold air hit my lungs as I patiently waited for Edward to show. I stood under the street lamp right down from my house and looked each way as I waited. The rational side of me looked down at my house with the front porch light on and tried to convince me that I needed to go back home. The other side of me, the deep-seeded, dark, naughty Bella stared back towards the road waiting for Edward. I should have been a good girl and changed my mind.

But I didn't. Edward showed within ten minutes and as I sat down in his car, I pushed my hair away from my face and I caught his eyes in the overhead light. He smiled and said, "To what do I owe this pleasure?"

"Just drive," I said as we pulled away from my road. I was scared to death that Jasper would see me in the car with Edward but I didn't feel like feeling guilty about this.

As we drove down Highway 1, he looked at me and sighed. "You know, it's not productive if we don't talk. I'm not a mind reader, Bella."

"Funny, I had you pegged as one," I said staring out the window.

"What's that?" he said.

"Nothing. So where are we going?" I asked.

"I thought we could drive up to a spot and sit and talk. You seemed very upset."

I nodded as we sped down the winding roads. I watched as the moonlight filtered through the giant trees and sighed. I was so angry at Jasper for not understanding. I loved the idea that he still felt the need to be my savior. I just had no idea how to handle it.

As we stopped on the side of the road, Edward shut off his lights and let the music play in his car. I adjusted myself to face him. He sat with his hand draped over the steering wheel and stared out the front windshield. Finally, he spoke.

"Why did you allow me to take you to Port Angeles that day? I cannot wrap my brain around why. You had such a great time that day and then you all the sudden decided that you wanted to take off to LA with Jasper. I just don't get what kind of mind games you are playing here Bella."

I stared silently as I tried to gather the words. Finally I just let it slip.

"I don't know what I want right now. I thought everything was settled in my life. I had Jasper, you were finally moving on in your life. Everything changed when my father died. I tried for so long to understand why. To me Edward, you are comfortable. You are familiar. I feel that need for familiarity right now. Don't hate me for it." I looked up at Edward as his eyes locked with mine.

"I don't want to be just someone that you are comfortable around, Bella. I want to be yours. If you want me, then I'll be there. I can't be the backdoor man or the one that comes to your rescue every single time you and Jasper have an argument."

"I'm not saying that's what I want. I… I can't figure this out anymore. At one time everything was black and white, now there is so much grey and I have no idea how to handle it." A part of me wanted to burst into tears, but I was tired of crying.

"So you call me tonight, say you need to see me and it's all to tell me that you only want me around because I'm familiar to you? Bella, that makes no sense. You don't just call me out of my bed to come get you for that. What is really going on here?" Edward stared at me.

"I want you back, Edward. But I don't want to lose Jasper either. I can't have it both ways and I know that. I know that I have to make a choice, but I'm scared I'll make the wrong one. I'm so sick of figuring this out. I left you because you were awful to me, and then you changed. I was with Jasper because he was awesome towards me, now all we do is fight. I feel stuck."

I put my face into my hands and pushed my hair back from my eyes. I propped my head up with my hand and sighed.

Edward looked dumbfounded, speechless if you will. I waited for him to say something and all he could say was, "I think you need to go home. You've had enough excitement for one night."

"I can't go home. That house is too cold, too alone with no one else is in there with me."

"Where do you want to go?" he asked.

"Let me call Rosalie and see if I can stay there," I said. I reached for my phone and dialed. I hated calling at midnight but I had no choice. Rosalie answered.

"Hey, it's me Bella. I'm sorry to be calling so late but can I stay with you tonight?"

"Sure that's fine but you know that Edward is staying with us too right?" I looked up at Edward and sighed heavy. "No I didn't know that, but it's okay. We're getting along just fine."

"Great to hear. Do I need to come get you or…?"

"No, I've got a ride. I'll see you in a bit."

Rosalie hung up with me. "So when were you going to tell me about you staying with Rosalie?"

He took a deep breath and said, "I sold the house. I moved here to Forks about a month ago."

I looked at him, confused as ever. "You moved to Forks? Why on earth would you do that?"

He stared deep into my eye, "Do you really want to know the answer to that?"

I nodded my head yes.

"I moved to be closer to you, Bella."

My heart skipped a beat as I leaned closer into him. His breath was heavy on my lips. I wanted to feel them against mine. It has been far too long since I felt the softness, the appeal of his lips on mine. I got closer and closer and as my lips were mere centimeters away from his, my phone buzzed in my lap. It was Jasper.

I hit ignore and stared back at Edward. I wanted it. I know I did. Instead, Edward started the car, put it in drive and headed towards Rosalie's house without a word being said the entire way there.

As we pulled into the driveway, I knew that these decisions would be hard.

Either way, someone was getting hurt. It very well could end up being me.

I woke up the next morning with a hell of a hangover. I stared at the grey walls of the other guest room and wondered why on earth I had put myself in such a situation that I couldn't make up my mind what I wanted.

I had told Edward that everything was turning grey and it was true. I wished that in an ideal world it would be okay for me to love two guys. However, in my non-ideal world, I had to choose one. I didn't know how to start that process. All I knew is that a decision had to be made.

The smells from the kitchen were amazing and I knew that Rosalie was cooking her famous blueberry pancake. I sipped my robe on and finally made my way down to the kitchen. She had a big pot of coffee on the counter and I poured a cup as she turned around.

"Jasper called a little late last night looking for you. I explained to him that you were fine and needed some space. I have no idea what happened last night, nor do I want to know. But Bella, I will not lie for you."

"Don't worry," I said waving my hands, "nothing happened that you would need to lie about." She nodded and went back to the pancakes. A few more later she turned to me again. "You came home with Edward last night. What did I tell you about that?"

"I know, Rosalie." I was getting a little annoyed with people constantly telling me how to handle my relatioinships.

"I'm just saying, I love you like a sister. But I cannot keep up with yours or Edward's personal lives. I have a family of my own." I looked across the kitchen and saw the little one sleeping in the bassinet.

"I know Rosalie, and I'm sorry to drag you in. I hope I didn't wake up everyone last night by calling."

"You didn't, but Jasper did. Don't worry though. Everything is okay. I told him to come by and pick you up this afternoon." I went to say not a good idea, but she said, "Don't worry, I told Edward to make himself scarce."

I looked up at her from my coffee again, "Why didn't you tell me Edward was living in Forks?"

She blinked blankly at me. "I thought you knew?"

"Um, no. No one informed me of this. I was wondering how on earth he was showing up so fast. Does Jasper know he's here?"

She shook her head no. "I told Emmett he should tell him but he insisted that if Jasper knew Edward was here, he wouldn't come over. He's been really good at leaving the house before Jasper arrives."

I walked away, collecting my thoughts on how I could tell Jasper that Edward was in town. This wouldn't be easy.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: No need for a long author's note. This is done from Edward's POV. More to come this week.

* * *

**Edward**

"How much progress do you think you've made since the move?" Victoria asked as she tapped her pen on the chair. I hated the drive all the way into Seattle, but Victoria knew my life and was the only one I trusted with the details of it.

"I think it's going better than it could've, to be honest. I thought I could put Bella behind me, but I'm not so certain that she wants to now. I thought I saw a glimmer of hope in her eyes the last time I was around, so I'm not sure if I should give up or not."

Victoria tapped her pen again, this time against her lips. She thought hard before saying anything to me.

"I think you may be deluding yourself into believing that. Has she given you any reason to expect that she still has feelings for you?"

I looked out the window past her fiery red hair, replying, "Yes, actually, the other night she told me that she may or may not still be in love with me. After her father passed away, it has seemed like she's more distant from Jasper and wants to spend more time with me. They got into a huge argument last night; it's almost like she's trying to run away from him."

"I think what you need to do is have a serious conversation with Bella and find out exactly what she wants before you get your hopes up and have them destroyed because you led yourself to believe something that didn't even exist."

I stared for a moment, confused. If Bella had said to me that she still cared, why would I be confused?

"I don't understand. Bella said she cares about me… what difference does it make?"

Victoria sighed. "Edward, I know you want to believe this, and trust me, I think it would be great for the two of you to work things out. However, you have to understand some things first. Bella just went through something traumatic. She lost her rock, her father. I'm sure at this moment she's just looking for familiarity. You are familiar to her. You're a part of her past, when her father was alive."

I nodded. I understood that was a possibility, but I was willing to take my chances.

"Thanks for the advice doc, but I think I would know when Bella is being serious."

She shook her head. "I know, but I've seen this before. It's easier to relate to your past when someone from it is constantly with you. I think she looks to you as a link to those times."

I didn't say anything else the rest of the session while Victoria pled her case about Bella. I knew better, though. I knew when Bella said that she still cared, she meant it.

* * *

Hours later, I returned from Seattle and found Bella lying on the couch. She was still in her PJs from the night before, her hair all a mess, and I could tell she had been crying.

"Bella, are you okay?" I asked, sitting next to her.

She looked up at me with puffy red eyes. "I broke up with Jasper." She began to sob, and I put my arm around her to comfort her.

"I'm sorry to hear that," I said as I whispered into her hair. She pulled away.

"I'm very sure you are," she stood up and stormed out of the living room. I glanced down at the couch and sighed. I debated on following her out the door, and against my better judgment, I followed.

She stood at the glass doors leading to the deck. The sun shone through her brownish-red locks, and I smiled. I came up behind her, wrapping my arm around her waist.

"I'm not happy that you're hurting. I know that you cared a lot about Jasper. I'm really truly sorry that you feel bad."

"I know," she whispered. "I'm just not sure if I made the right decision or not." She looked up at me with her soft brown eyes, asking, "Did I do the right thing?"

I looked at her face, questioning her motives. Before I could say anything, her lips met mine with such force that it nearly knocked me backwards. Her tongue tangled with mine, and I pulled her closer to me. She stopped and took a step back, staring at me. I was searching for the words to say, and I couldn't.

"I'm sorry," she said.

"I'm not," I said back and pulled her close to me again. "I'm not going to say that I'm not excited that you still want me, but I have to ask why."

She looked down at her feet, then looked up at me, saying, "You're my comfort zone. You make me feel like me again. I lost that a couple of months ago, and I don't know who I am or where I belong anymore. Edward, I need you to make me feel like myself."

I took a couple of steps back and headed to the sink. I grabbed a glass out of the cabinet, and as it filled with water, I remembered what Victoria had said to me.

I turned to face Bella, who looked so needy, and I had to ask.

"Do you want to be with me because you feel comfortable, or because you still love me?"

She looked away. That was all the answer I needed. I took a sip from the glass, poured it out and headed up to my room.

If Bella truly loved me, she would've answered right away.

Victoria was right, Bella needed to find herself first before she could chose between Jasper and I, and she needed to do it on her own.


	7. Chapter 7

**Bella**

Learning to be alone was hard. Weeks went by without a word from Jasper or Edward. Alice came over to check on me, and I don't think she liked what she saw.

"What on earth are you wearing?" she asked as she walked into my living room.

"It's a Snuggie. It's quite warm to be honest."

"You look like a monk. Don't tell me you are swearing off guys for the rest of your life and moving into a monastery?"

I laughed. "No, that wasn't exactly the plan to be honest. I like it because it's fuzzy and warm."

"So are puppies but you don't see me sporting a coat of puppies do you? I think PETA would have my ass if I did that. I don't look good covered in red paint."

I giggled. Alice knew how to make me feel better and not even realize what she was doing.

"So, what's on our agenda for the day?" I asked, reaching for the daily paper.

"I thought we could do some shopping. You know that retail therapy is always the thing to do in these situations."

"Alice, I don't know if I'm in the mood for that. I mean, I'm comfortable being at home."

Alice scoffed. "How dare you blow off shopping today? You get your butt upstairs and change clothes right now. Put away the Snuggie. You need some jeans, boots and a nice sweater. I'll take you to lunch too, my treat."

I was never one to turn down a free lunch. After everything that happened between my father dying and breaking up with Jasper, I took entirely too many days off at work. My bank account was beginning to dwindle a bit, but I was getting my retirement later this month, so it would take the burden off my finances.

I pulled the sweater over my newly washed hair and stared in the mirror for what seemed like an eternity. Alice was always fussing at me about my hair. She loved the length but felt like the waves were too much. She begged me for years to straighten my hair, and so to mess with her, I did. I sat there with a flat iron for what seemed like an eternity, and finally after the last strand was in place, I walked down the stairs to Alice's amazed face.

"You need to do that more often," she said, taking my hand. "It looks really good. Now, let's go. I'm starving."

The drive was filled with Alice complaining about Aro's choice in vacation spots for the summer. He wanted to go back to Italy again and show her some tile samples he found in a house that he toured a couple of months ago. Alice didn't exactly see that as a vacation, but she prattled on about it and kept my mind off everything.

Lunch was great. The neat thing about spending time with Alice is that she can talk a million miles a minute, and I never have to say anything. I was in that kind of mood today.

Alice broke off from the table and went to the ladies room. Contrary to belief, we don't always go in pairs, and I sat at the table, mulling over my purse when I heard a voice that sounded familiar.

"Bella, Bella Swan?" I looked up and saw Jacob Black, my dad's god-son, standing next to me.

"Hi, Jacob, how are you?" I said as he sat down where Alice had been sitting.

"I'm doing great. It's been a while since I've seen you. I'm so sorry I missed your father's funeral. I was stuck down in California helping Rachel with some home renovations." Rachel was his older sister. I hadn't seen her in years.

"Thanks though. So what are you up to now?" I said. Jacob looked so different than I remembered him from my childhood.

"I'm back in La Push helping dad with some things around the house. I'm sorry to hear about you and Edward. You two were always so inseparable. Are you seeing someone now?"

I stared for a minute. It took all the courage I had to muster up, "Not anymore."

"Oh, wow, what happened?" Jacob was being a little pushy, but for some reason I found it easy to talk about it.

"I was seeing Jasper Whitlock, remember him?" he shook his head yes. "We dated for a while, we were even engaged, but we broke up a couple of weeks ago. It's been tough." I fought back the tears that wanted to well up in my eyes. Jacob stared for a moment and sighed.

"Sometimes, life has a funny way of making things work for you." He smiled.

I smiled back. I was about to ask Jacob for coffee soon when Alice came back to the table. She smiled at Jacob and said, "You are sitting in my seat." Jacob scrambled to get up, and she laughed. "I'm just messing with you Jacob. How are you doing?"

Jacob thought for a second and said, "Alice, how the hell are you?" He stood up, towering over her and gave her a hug.

"I'm doing great, got married to the man of my dreams. I help him run a decorating business and well that's about it. It's good to see you," she said, giving him a hug again.

"Bella, we should do coffee sometimes." Jacob reached into his pocket and pulled out a business card with hammers and a saw on it. It reminded me of Jasper again, and I fought back more tears.

"We should," I choked out. "I'll call you soon."

He smiled, waved and walked away from the table.

Alice glared at me.

"Before you say anything Alice, I know. I need to spend time by myself before I start seeing anyone else. We've already established this, and I promise that I won't jump into anything."

She stared at me still.

"And I promise to find myself first."

"Good girl. Now let's go." She grabbed my hand and nearly pulled me out of my seat.

The rest of the day went by in a blur. By the time the afternoon came around, I was full of food, spent entirely too much money but I did feel better.

I went home with a ton of bags to go through and things to have enough buyer's remorse over to take back. As I tried on a sweater that Alice said made my boobs look bigger, the doorbell rang. I ran down and pulled it open.

Jasper was standing at my door, cute as ever.

"I know I'm the last person you want to see right now, but I wanted to let you know something. I got a call saying that I needed to go to California for a job. I may be gone for up to six months."

I stared at him for what seemed like an eternity.

"And you are letting me know this because?" I said sarcastically.

He sighed. "I guess coming here was a mistake." He stood at the doorway for a moment and turned to walk away.

"Thanks for letting me know," I said, a little bit nicer.

"I figured you'd like to know, in case…"

"In case I changed my mind?" I said.

"Yes. And, I mean… how are you?"

"I'm doing okay I guess. And you?"

Awkwardness was filling my front porch to capacity.

"I'm doing okay," he said.

We didn't say anything for another couple of seconds and finally I replied, "Have fun in California. I think that it would be a good change for you."

He nodded and didn't say anything.

Finally, after careful thought, he said. "Bella, I still love you. Sleeping at night is impossible. My heart breaks every time I wake in the morning and you aren't there. Please, see what this is doing to me."

I felt tears develop in my eyes as he spoke. He was calm, as though he'd rehearsed this before coming to see me. Though, you could still see the pain in his eyes.

"Jasper this was the best decision for the both of us. We both jumped into a relationship neither one of us was ready for. We were each other's rebound, and you know what happens when you rebound…"

"You were not a rebound to me, Bella. I loved you more than anybody. Hell I loved you more than I loved Charlotte. You've got to see what this is doing to me. What it's doing to us."

I felt the tears drip from my eyes as they did from his. I wanted so bad to reach out to him and hold him close to me. I wanted to tell him how much I missed him and how I couldn't sleep without his arms around me at night. I wanted him to know that I couldn't get through the day without crying.

I finally said, "Goodbye Jasper. I still do love you too, but this is the best for us."

I shut the door behind me as I walked back into the house.

* * *

**A/N: So CereuleanBlue my kick ass, fast beta said "**Please title this chapter "Bella Is A Stupid Whore" **This is why I love her and have her as my beta. Not to mention she beta'd this in one day.**

**Need a banner? Go check out our website at teamfireandice(dot)wordpress(dot)com**

**Till the next chapter… **


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: I want to first apologize to my readers. I know that you hate Bella in this story and you have every right to hate her. I hate her. But Bella was me for the longest time. I was stuck between two lives, trying to figure out which one was the one I wanted. I wish I'd only had the gumption to not choose either and figure my own life out. So I beg of you, please hear Bella out. It'll make Bella's life much more clear and understandable in the end.**

**My inspiration for this chapter came when I listened to "Trouble" by Coldplay. There's something about Chris' confessions about how sorry he was to whoever he wrote that song to which made me write this chapter. Then listening to "Everything's Not Lost" by the same band made me realize that maybe, just maybe Bella could figure out all her problems.**

**Trouble - Coldplay**

** Oh no, I see,**  
** A spider web, it's tangled up with me,**  
** And I lost my head,**  
** The thought of all the stupid things I said,**  
** Oh no what's this?**  
** A spider web, and I'm caught in the middle,**  
** Oh I turned to run,**  
** The thought of all the stupid things I've done,**  
** And oh, I never meant to cause you trouble,**  
** And oh, and I never meant to do you wrong,**  
** And oh, well if I ever caused you trouble,**  
** Oh no, I never meant to do you harm.**

**

* * *

Jasper**

I wanted to hate her. I wanted to just forget about everything she'd ever done to hurt me but for some reason I couldn't do it.

I still loved the bitch.

Yes, I called her a bitch. That's exactly what she was being at the moment. I had no idea if it was something I'd said or done to make her feel overwhelmed but I couldn't help but feel like it was partially my fault that all this was going on.

Alice made me swear on my grandmother's grave that the conversation we had that night never took place.

I was packing to leave for California. Rosalie and Alice both suggested that I get away for a while. They were kind of stuck in all this and felt like the children in the middle of a nasty divorce. I didn't mind the fact that they still stood beside Bella. I would have also if she hadn't of pushed me away. I figured when they said that I needed to get away, it meant take a job somewhere for a while. Apparently, they had other plans.

My doorbell rang in the back bedroom as I placed the last of my work clothes in a duffle bag. I was going to fly but I figured a couple of days on the road could help me clear my head.

"Hello Jasper," Alice said as she stormed my door. She held in her hand bags of food from a local restaurant down the road from my place.

"Um, hi?" I said as she walked right past me and into my kitchen.

"What is all this?" I asked.

"Well I figured I'd give you some sort of going away dinner. Sit, I'll find some plates and forks."

She moved around my kitchen with ease and then sat down at the table beside me. She dished the food out and after everything was sat in front of us she smiled.

"So what are you going to do about Bella?" she asked as she poured a glass of wine for the two of us.

"I'm not going to do anything. She's made her decision and I have to respect it."

She snickered. "Do you actually think that Bella knows what she wants right now?"

I thought for a moment and shook my head no.

"I don't either. Today, after we went shopping, she ran into a friend of hers. He gave her his number. She thought about calling him until I talked her out of it."

I sighed. This wasn't exactly what I needed to hear at that exact moment.

"So what are you are you saying?" I asked, picking at my food with my fork.

Alice took a gulp of her wine and smiled. "Bella is lost, Jasper. I've known her for quite some time and I know for a fact that she has no idea what she wants or where she wants to be in her life right now. Her dad was her whole world and she needed him to survive. Even though she had you, it didn't feel right without her father in her life."

"So what am I supposed to do about this?"

"I think that we need to come up with a way for her to realize that she needs you in her life."

I had no idea what to say.

"Alice, I'll be honest. All this is just too much. I fought for her once, thought I had her and then she decides to do this to me. I just don't know what to do except walk away. I feel… defeated."

I glanced down and tried to hold in my frustration for the situation but it began spilling over my cheeks in the form of tears. Too many of those I've cried for this girl and I wanted it to stop.

But it couldn't.

Alice scooted closer to me and I could feel her hand touch my arm. I looked up at her with tears and said, "I'm such an idiot for hanging on."

She shook her head. "No, you are just in love and it's hard to see someone you love and care about make stupid and ridiculous decisions. How about I do something for the two of you that I think you both need. Call and see if you can cancel that job. I'll get you another one from a client of mine. I'm sending you and Bella on a vacation. She won't know what's going on until she gets there and she is forced to talk to you."

I sighed heavy, wiping the tears off my cheeks.

"What if this doesn't work?"

"Then we'll know that we really have to let her go. But please, Jasper. She needs us even though she's pushing us away."

"Okay, where are we going and when do we leave?"

"I'm getting the two of you a cabin in Vancouver. It's near the populated area but also far enough out that the two of you can have some sort of privacy. And you'll leave in two days. I'm going over to see Bella when I leave here. I'm going to convince her that I wanted her to go stay up at mine and Aro's place in Vancouver for a week to wait on a contractor to come fix our plumbing."

I laughed a little. "I'm the contractor huh?"

She nodded and smiled wryly, "Yes, you are."

I felt apprehensive about this whole trip but if there's anything I've learned, if you get Bella out of her comfortable zone, she's more willing to try. I thanked Alice and began packing for the trip that could make a huge difference in mine and Bella's lives. I just hoped it worked.

**Bella**

The little pixie was not going to take no for an answer.

"Alice, I just can't pack up and leave. I know it's the summer but I missed so much school last term that I'm trying to at least get some of my accredation hours in for my certificate. I do have to keep those up you know."

"Duh, so this will be a great opportunity to get your head clear. And it's only a week. I'm going up with you to take you to the cabin and then I have to meet Aro in town."

Apparently Alice and Aro were considering expanding their business into Vancouver and just purchased a nice cabin near town that needed work. She wanted me to cabin sit while the contractor worked on the plumbing and whatever else was wrong with it. I felt like something was up but Alice looked so sincere that it was so hard to tell her no.

"Fine, I'll go but no funny business. The first moment I think you are up to something, I'm gone."

"You got it," she said, grinning. Something was definitely up but I wasn't one to turn down a free vacation. Ever.

So all night long I packed and got ready for us to leave the next day. We flew from Seattle to Vancouver and as we drove up the trail to their new cabin, it wasn't anything the way I pictured it. I was thinking rustic and full of dust with leaking logs. This cabin looked like something out of a HGTV special on the top ten houses in the middle of the woods.

"Alice, I thought you were talking about a log cabin you know, or something else. This is beyond amazing."

"Thanks," she said. "Aro and I spent a week up here while thinking of expanding our business. It actually belonged to some diplomat from Canada and he decided that he would rent it out for vacationers. After Aro and I spent that week we knew we had to have it. It took some convincing but we got it."

I sighed. The tall pines didn't do a good enough job of hiding it from the rest of the world and as we pulled around to the garage side, I could overlook a ledge that held a clearing large enough to see the Vancouver lights. I could definitely use this vacation.

"My other car is here," she said as the garage door opened. "It's my baby, my Porsche 911 that Aro got me on my birthday a couple of years ago. I'm leaving you the keys to it. Be safe with it and for the love of all that is holy, if you get it dirty, wash it please? Aro always takes it out and by the time he brings it back, it's covered in mud. You cannot muddy up a Porsche."

I laughed. Of all the things for Alice to worry about, she was so concerned about mud on her Porsche. But I nodded and said no mud.

We walked a flight of steps in the garage to the kitchen area. It was magnificent. I could imagine making so much food in a place like that. The counter space was amazing. I already started feeling better, more like myself.

"I would give you the grand tour, but I honestly have got to go. Explore, anything you need you use it. If I don't have it, get it and I'll pay you back. You just enjoy your week and let me know if you need anything."

I nodded. "Thanks for this mini vacation," I said.

"You are quite welcome."

She left in such a hurry I forgot to ask her for the keys to the Porsche. I looked all over the place and couldn't find them. So I reached for my cell and tried to call her but my signal was bad. Great. I was stuck in a house with no signal and no keys to a car.

I searched the house and found her land line and tried calling her cell but all I got was her voicemail. She must not have had any signal either.

I sat down on the couch and looked at the vaulted ceilings. This house was so Alice from the window treatments to the chandelier that hung in the foyer.

I jumped when the house phone echoed through the house.

"Hello," I said as I answered the phone, "This is Bella."

"Bella, hey, so sorry about the keys. I'll bring them to you first thing in the morning."

"It's okay, hey um, did you leave any instructions for the contractor or anything? I forgot to ask that."

"Oh he knows what to do, I've already talked to him. He'll be there first thing in the morning."

"Okay, well I'll see you then."

"Bye Bella, call me if you need me."

I walked through the house, surveying the place that would be my home for a week. I found the room that I assumed was Aro and Alice's. I didn't even want to think about sleeping in there. It just seems rude to interrupt someone's personal space. I trudged down the hallway a little further and found a guest room that I felt like suited me. It held a queen size bed and had a great view of the city lights.

That night I found chicken breast in the freezer and tons of fresh vegetables in the crisper. It was like Alice had someone prepare the house for me before we got there and I was grateful for it. There was fresh bread in the breadbox and I made myself a huge feast. I put the leftovers in the fridge, drank the last sip of my wine and started out to the balcony to stare over the lights of Vancouver.

For the first time since my father died, I felt better about a lot of things. My happiness soon turned to frustration when I sat down on the chair on the balcony and realized that I was making a mess of my life.

My father had always told me to ask for help if I ever needed it. He knew that I was a very independent person and yet when I met Edward, all that changed. I turned into an very dependent person and when my relationship with Edward ended, I had my dad to fall back on. He didn't mind because I was his little girl but I feel like in some ways I was letting him down by depending on Jasper.

Jasper let me be my own person though. As I looked over the lights of Vancouver, I realized that I'd made a huge mistake by pushing Jasper out of my life. But it was too late. Jasper was gone to California and there wasn't anything I could do about that. I had to learn to pick my life back up and not worry about anyone else for a while. I'd already pushed Edward away enough to where it didn't matter if he came back or not.

I closed the balcony door, headed to my room and dressed for bed. As my head hit the pillow, I looked up to the ceiling and said, "Dad, I'm so lost without you. Can you help me realize what I need to do? Show me, give me some sort of sign of the direction my life needs to go in?"

I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep, thinking of Jasper and how I would do anything to have him back in my life again. I had so much to make up for.

* * *

I woke to the sound of a doorbell going off. It took me a moment to realize that I wasn't dreaming and that it was morning. It also took an extra second for me to realize that I wasn't in Forks anymore. I thought it was Alice dropping the keys of to the Porsche but why didn't she just come on in? Then I forgot that the contractor was coming to fix the plumbing in the house.

I flung my over coat on and fled down the stairs to the front door, screaming "coming" to whoever couldn't stop ringing the damn doorbell.

I pulled the door open, and said, "I'm sorry I must have over…"

Standing in the doorway with his tool belt on and a smile on his face was Jasper.

I was speechless as he reached behind his back and pulled a bouquet of flowers.

"I'm here to fix some issues with someone's … house."

He laughed. And I've missed that laugh so much it hurt.

"You're the contractor huh?" I shook my head and reached for the flowers.

"Alice, I swear little woman, you are so going to get it when I see you again," I whispered under my breath.

Jasper stepped forward, lifting my chin with his finger and said, "You and I have a lot to talk about, and a lot to work out. But I'm willing if you are."

I nodded and lifted my head up to the sky, saying, "Thanks Dad."

* * *

**Everything's Not Lost - Coldplay**

**If you ever feel neglected,**  
** If you think all is lost,**  
** I'll be counting up my demons, yeah,**  
** Hoping everything's not lost.**  
** When you thought that it was over,**  
** You could feel it all around,**  
** Everybody's out to get you,**  
** Don't you let it drag you down.**  
** Cos if you ever feel neglected,**  
** If you think that all is lost,**  
** I'll be counting up my demons, yeah.**  
** Hoping everything's not lost**

**A/N: Don't assume that everything is okay. They still have a lot of things to work out. The rest of the story will be about them working out the issues that they have and there will be fights, and make ups and trust me the makeup sex will be amazing. Thanks to those who've stuck this story through and I'm sorry that I had to turn Bella into a bitch, but she'll have her retribution.**

**I'll also be honest about something, I almost considered pulling this story, but decided against it. It's because of you, my readers I voted against it.**

**Oh and about Edward, he isn't exactly gone yet…**


	9. Chapter 9

**Jasper**

I was absolutely shocked when Bella let me in the house. I was waiting for a big F.U. and told to leave. When she allowed me in, I felt for the first time in months that this might work.

That was until I settled into the kitchen.

"So this is Alice's big plan to make things better, huh?" she said sipping on a cup of coffee she made while the silence between us lingered.

"I guess so," I said looking up at her. She shook her head and laughed a little.

"That annoying pixie," she said. "Well, looks like we'll have to make the most of it. Do you have your car or a rental?"

"Actually, Alice just dropped me off. She said something about you having a way around."

Her eyes got real big and she sighed.

"Okay now she's really starting to bug me. She didn't leave any keys. In fact, I think she left us up here without anything to drive. Strike that, we have something to drive, just no keys to use."

I laughed internally. Alice really was a sly girl.

"Maybe she thought we'd accomplish more if we had to stay together."

"Maybe," she said taking another sip.

"Bella, I…" I said trying to find the right words to say.

"Jasper, right now isn't exactly the moment that I want to discuss anything from the past couple of months. I'm just glad that you are here… and talking to me."

I nodded. "Do you mind if I take a shower?" I asked, reaching for my bag?

"Suit yourself. Shower is upstairs. There should be plenty of clean towels."

I headed towards the stairwell. "Bella, I really am glad I'm here. I hope you know that." She nodded, and took another sip from her cup.

I spent more time in the shower than I needed but I couldn't help but feel like I needed the time to clear my head. I'm sure Bella was shocked to see me and I couldn't understand why I needed to hash this out. I could have packed my belongings and headed to California without ever having a thought of Bella or Forks again. However, here I was, stuck, waiting for answers and I begged myself to allow time to figure this out.

I stepped out of the shower and got to work on my ideas to get Bella to open up. She made breakfast as I sat at the table, trying to find the words. Instead of talking though, she just sat across from me without saying a word. I have no idea how she did that but she kept to herself the entire time and I wanted her to say anything, something to make me feel like this was the best idea for us.

She stood, taking her plate to the kitchen and then headed upstairs. I watched a little bit of T.V. and then walked up the stairs to where Bella lay on the bed. I approached carefully, watching to see signs of her wanting to talk. Instead, she just lay on her side, staring at the wall.

I sighed and headed back down stairs. I had no idea to relieve this situation.

The entire day passed without a word between Bella and me. I was feeling frustrated and wanted out. Bella had nothing to say to me and I figure this entire endeavor was a lost cause. As I headed down from cleaning my hands, I noticed that Bella cooked dinner and as she set the table on the verandah, I couldn't help but feel a familiar sense of happiness.

We started out dinner with small talk and as I chewed my first bite of food, I looked over at Bella who had the saddest look on her face.

"What's wrong," I asked.

"I… I just don't even know how to begin to apologize," she said with tears in her eyes.

"I think cooking something like this would be a big enough apology," I said, trying to lighten the moment. It didn't work as the tears fell from her eyes.

"Jasper, I've been so lost. Dad dying and then my divorce has really taken a toll on me. I feel like I've lost my identity and that I was taking it all out on you. "

"Bella, I don't know how many times to tell you, or ways to tell you, that you can always lean on me and vent your anger, frustrations and anything else you need to say. I'm here for you; I wish you could understand that."

She sighed, taking a deep breath and finally just blurted, "I think you are too good for me."

I nearly choked on my drink.

"Bella, what in the blue blazes makes you think that I'm too good for you? I'm sitting here wanting to shower you with love and affection and each time you push me away. I feel as though…as if…"

_Shit Whitlock, just fucking say it._

"I feel as though you want Edward back."

Her eyes darted to the floor and then to the woods.

"Jasper, that's not what I want."

"Then what do you want Bella? I'm sick of this game you are playing. I've spent hours, no days, trying to figure out what it is that you want from me. I've gone to Alice and Rosalie, Emmett, Mom and Dad trying to make sense of all this and all you can do is keep to yourself. Bella, something has got to give. I'm punishing myself here and you've got to give me some sort of direction, I'm losing my mind here."

Tears began to well up in my own eyes as she sat across from me, speechless.

"I can see it was a mistake to come here. I'll call Alice and ask her to come get me. I'll be on my way."

I threw my napkin down onto my plate as I stood from the table. I walked up the stairs, trying to push back the tears that Bella caused. I reached for my duffel bag and only packed what was taken out. I heard a voice behind me say, "Jasper, I miss you."

"Mighty funny, Bella you say that. I haven't seen anything to indicate that you do miss me."

Bella walked up behind me and put her arms around my stomach, holding me closer to her. She sighed into my back and I turned to face her.

Bella's eyes met mine and she said, "Jasper, I've always wanted you, no one else but you and I think my mind wanted to push you away. Everyone I've ever loved, everyone I've ever wanted to be around has left me in one way or another. I love you with every part of my being and I guess I was just scared of losing you. I wanted to love you Jasper. I wanted to hold you and tell you that no matter what I needed you. As my heart and mind tugged at each other, I felt it best to leave, never have to learn what it was to suddenly lose you. However, as you stand before me, I can't do that. I can't ever let you leave my side again. Pushing you away was the biggest mistake I've ever made in my life and I love you so much. Can you ever forgive me and my stupid ways of thinking?"

I looked into her eyes and for the first time in months, the true Bella showed through. I pulled her into my lap on the bed and held her tight.

"Bella, why didn't you just tell me these things and not push me away? I will always love you no matter what. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me and I promise that from this day on to listen harder, love you harder and never let you walk away again."

She sobbed into my shoulder as tears of happiness and joy streaked my cheeks. For the first time in months, I felt like myself. I had Bella back in my life and this was all I ever wanted.

**A/N: More to come this week. I'm working to finish this story by the end of July.**


	10. Chapter 10

_Hey Henry, can you hear me,  
let me see those eyes  
this distance, between us  
can seem a mountain size  
but boy, you are gonna stand your ground  
they rise to you you'll blow them down  
let me see you stand your ground  
they rise to you you'll blow them down_

My darling, my sweetheart,  
I am in your sway,  
two cold climbs, come spring time  
so let me hear you say, my love

_**The Decemberists – Rise To Me **_

* * *

**Edward**

I stared out of the bay window of my house for hours.

_Just let her go Edward, she wants him, not you. For the love of all that is good on this earth just let her go._

Alice's words rang through my ears as I tried to remember this is what Bella wants, she's happy, just let her be. No matter how hard I tried to let it go I just couldn't. I picked up my phone and called my travel agent.

"Alex, hi this is Edward Cullen. I need to schedule a flight.

* * *

Hours later as I sat in my hotel room, I tried to go over in my head the things I would say to Bella. Alice begged me to stay away from her, to let her be happy but I couldn't let her go no matter what I tried to do. I walked back and forth from the decanter of whisky to the window overlooking Vancouver. The city lights lit up the night sky. My cell phone buzzed at my side.

_I know you are in Vancouver. Don't screw this up for her Edward. I'm begging you._

I sent her back a text telling her to mind her own business and I needed to see Bella soon. Ever knowing Alice struck again. I pushed the off button and refused to answer any more questions to my nosey sister.

I took another sip from my drink and sighed. This was going to be a long night.

* * *

**Jasper**

Bella sat in my lap for hours just crying her heart out. I held her like a parent would hold their child and as her fingers wrapped around the strands of hair that fell from my ponytail, I smiled. She eventually quieted her sniffles and for a moment I thought she quit crying.

"Jasper, I want to say something but I don't want you to think I'm saying this just to prove to you how much I want to be with you. I'm doing this because I want to."

She lifted her head to meet my curious eyes.

"Jasper, I want to marry you. Not next week or even a month from now. I want to do this tomorrow. No questions about it. I'll call Alice and ask her to be our witness or something but I want you forever."

My eyes widened. This girl, the one of my dreams, the one that I'd fought so hard for had finally seen the light but a huge part of me wanted to think she was doing this only to make me happy.

"Bella, I just don't know if that's a good idea. I mean we just made amends."

She nodded. "I knew you would say that but Jasper if there is anything that the death of my father taught me is that life is too short to push away happiness. You make me happy and I want this."

I sighed as I held her hand to my chest.

"Bella, if we are going to do this, I want to do this properly."

I slid Bella off my lap onto the bed. She scooted to the edge as I dropped to one knee.

"Isabella Swan. I love you more than life itself and if anything has been proven it's that you and I can get through anything. I want to love you now and forever as your husband. Will you marry me?"

Bella nodded as I reached into my pocket. I pulled the ring that she gave me back the first time I asked her.

She quirked an eyebrow at me.

"A former Boy Scout is always prepared." She laughed and for the first time in forever, everything felt right.

"I love you Jasper," Bella said as I pushed the ring onto her finger.

"I love you too baby." I reached up and held her in my arms.

I kissed her cheek then as my lips found hers she sighed.

"So you are serious about this," I asked as I pulled away from her.

"Very much so. I'll text Alice in a minute and ask her and Aro to be our witnesses."

My heart was heavy with love for this girl. I couldn't believe she would do this for us.

She stood up to find her cell phone and text messaged Alice. Not even two seconds after the text was sent, Alice called Bella and the two girls began their squeal fest over the impromptu wedding. Alice would have Aro come up tomorrow afternoon and the wedding would be on. No questions asked.

Even as happy as I was about this whole wedding, I had a feeling something would go wrong. I had no idea what it was but there was a feeling in the pit of my stomach that Edward would try to ruin this for us. Not that he would know. I'm sure Alice would keep her mouth shut about this.

* * *

**Bella**

The mere idea of marrying Jasper the next day had me feeling like a giddy school girl. I felt so happy and even though this was impromptu, I knew that I could and would be happy with Jasper. I could finally let all my feelings for Edward or anything in my past go.

As Alice babbled on with wedding plans, I kept looking over at Jasper who looked as happy as he had ever been. A part of me believed I was doing this just to make amends with Jasper and to prove to him that I really wanted to be with him. However, a huge part of this was because I was tired of being alone and I did love Jasper very much.

After Alice finally finished with quickly outlining details which included and early morning shopping trip to a local store that she worked with for a wedding dress, I hung up to hold Jasper for a little longer.

"Are you a hundred percent sure you want to do this?" Jasper asked as he stroked my hair.

"No. I'm two hundred percent sure I want to do this," I said jokingly.

"Good because I don't want you to regret this later."

I sat up from his arms and scowled. "Honestly Jasper, this isn't something I take lightly. I had a horrible marriage with Edward. I thought he was the one for me until I realized that he was too controlling. You give me something he never did, the freedom to be myself. Yes I was completely destroyed from the death of my father but seeing you here with me has made me realize that I can't go through life alone. You make me happy. That's all I need to know."

Jasper smiled as he pulled me back down to him. He softly kissed my forehead and sighed. "I'm glad to hear. So what did Mrs. Alice have to say about tomorrow?"

"She is taking me shopping first thing in the morning. She thinks sun down by the park would be the ideal place for the wedding to take place. Aro is an ordained minister so he'll officiate and she'll be our witness."

"That sounds like an amazing plan," Jasper said.

"Did you bring anything to wear?" I asked.

"Nope, but tomorrow while you are out with Alice, I'll stop by a shop to find something presentable."

I laughed. Jasper would look amazing in a plastic trash bag.

I reached up to kiss Jasper on the cheek when my cell phone buzzed beneath my leg. I hit the button to see who could be bugging me at this hour and realized the text came from Alice.

_Um, crazy news. Edward is in Vancouver. Wants to see you. I didn't tell him where you are._

My eyes widened as I quickly closed the text message.

"Who's that?" Jasper asked as he sat up.

"Just Alice. She was asking about tomorrow. No big deal."

However it was a huge deal. Edward was in Vancouver which meant he would track me down. Even if Alice didn't tell him where I was, he would find me. I'm sure he knew of Alice's vacation home and it would only be a matter of time before he would come here, starting trouble and raining on my wedding day.

I reached down to my cell and erased the last message Alice sent in the hopes that just in case Jasper decided to go through my cell.

* * *

I spent the night tossing and turning. Half of the sleeplessness came from my wedding but the other part came from Edward.

I told him to leave me alone. I told him that I didn't want to be with him. Couldn't he just get over that? Why did he have to keep finding ways to stay in my life?

I finally had enough and tried hard to not wake Jasper as I walked to Alice's study. I looked through my contact list and pressed the send button.

"Hello?" A groggy voice answered.

"Edward, it's Bella."

I heard shuffling and then finally, "I miss you…"

I sat for a moment on the couch and felt the tears well up in my eyes.

"Edward, I can't. I just…I can't do this…"

"Yes you can. It's very easy. You just have to be with me. I promise that I won't be the overbearing, jealous asshole of a husband that I once was. I just want to be with you."

I wiped the tears from my eyes as I tried to find the right words to say.

"I'm marrying Jasper tomorrow. I'm happy with him, please accept that." I sniffed a little bit, trying to keep my tears muffled.

"Bella, don't do this. Please, I'm begging you."

"I'm so sorry Edward. This is the last time you'll hear from me. I'm moving on with my life. I just can't…"

"Please, Bella… don't."

I sniffled again as I pressed the end button and then turned my phone off. I let out a huge sob as I cried, not so much for the pain I caused myself, but knowing that I'd hurt Edward nearly killed me inside.

It was then that I realized that maybe I still loved Edward.

But which was the right choice? Listen to my head and marry Jasper? Or my heart and be with Edward?

* * *

**A/N: So are you mad at me? Have you forgotten about this story? I hope not because I'm finally going to finish this sucker!**


	11. Chapter 11

**_Bella_**

"You look amazing, Bella," Alice said as she placed a small flower in my hair. I blushed and looked down at my simple dress. Alice plucked it from her own collection but it was perfect for my day.

"Jasper seems so excited. He's going to make you so happy Bella."

I looked up at Alice and I could see how happy she was for the both of us. She did so much for me these past couple of months that I just couldn't bear to think where I'd be without her.

Our small wedding was taking place in the garden outside of Alice's house and I could see the set up from the window of the room we were in. I could see Aro down at the garden talking to the minister but Jasper wasn't there yet.

I sat on the bed and reached for my cell phone. I'd not seen a text from Edward since last night and I wondered if he'd try to crash the wedding.

As the minutes passed, I realized it was getting close to the time to go down to the garden.

I stood, grabbing the small bouquet of flowers that Alice quickly set up for me and as I faced the door, Alice stood with the most disturbing look on her face.

"Jasper isn't here, Bella. Aro says he hasn't seen him in a while."

It took a moment for me to understand what she was saying.

"He's not here? Where is he then?"

"I don't know. Aro tried calling his cell and he's turned it off. The minister says he hasn't seen him either."

I ran to the room where Jasper had his luggage from the room and there wasn't a sign of him ever being here. I felt my heart ripping into a million pieces. I grabbed a handful of hair and fell to the bed and began sobbing.

"He's gone Alice!" I screamed at the top of my lungs.

**_Jasper _**

Bella was sleeping so soundly when I woke up the next morning. I watched as she sighed and smiled in her sleep and I knew that I loved her with every part of my being.

However, she was marrying me for all the wrong reasons. She loved me, but it wasn't enough. I could see the guilt in her eyes after she realized what she'd done to me. I didn't want our marriage to be based on that alone.

I paced the living room and kitchen so early that morning and as I watched the sun rise I had to make a decision and it was one based on how much I wanted her to be happy. I know she was happy with me but after months of frustration and pain she's gone through, she needed time to heal completely before she took on a relationship, especially one of marriage.

So when Alice showed up that morning and locked herself and Bella in the room to help her prepare, I grabbed my packed bag and called a cab to take me to the airport. I left a note on the counter of the kitchen and headed out.

It was probably the most cowardly thing I'd ever done in my life and as I sit in my apartment there are some parts that I regret. I should have had the courage to tell her this to her face but the pain would have been too much for me to bear.

I finally got the courage after landing to turn my phone back on and as it rang for the 100th time since coming home, I finally answered it.

"Hello," was all I could muster and I felt a catch in my throat.

"You have so much to explain right now," Alice said on the other end. "Do you know what you've left me with here?"

"Alice, please, you have to…"

"Don't you dare tell me I have to understand. She's devastated Jasper. She's falling to pieces here and you should have said something to her before leaving a note. A fucking note? What is wrong with you?"

I sighed. I knew trying to explain to her wouldn't work so I just said, "Alice, give me some space to figure this out. I'll talk to her soon."

"Jasper, this isn't over," Alice said as she hung up on me.

I stared at the phone for a moment and launched it at my wall and watched as it shattered into pieces… just like my own heart.

**_Edward_**

I sat in my rental car outside of Alice's house and debated on why I showed up in the first place. Was I going to stop the wedding really? Had I stooped that low but as I sat for a moment, something didn't seem right. Everything seemed somber.

I walked up to the door and rang the bell and as Aro answered the door, I knew something wasn't right then for sure. The look on his face was distraught and very frustrated.

"Is everything okay?" I asked.

"Not really Edward. Let me get Alice."

I faced the front yard as I waited on Alice.

"You have impeccable timing Cullen," Alice said as she came to the door. "This is really not a good time for you to be here."

I squinted my eyes trying to make sense of everything. "Where's Bella?"

"Edward, honestly, please go home."

"No Alice. I'm tired of people telling me to give up. I'm tired of people telling me to leave her alone."

"Edward," I heard a small voice say from behind Alice.

I glanced around Alice and found Bella in sweatpants and a T-shirt. You could tell she'd been crying pretty hard and her eyes were puffy.

I ran straight up to her and wrapped my arms around her. She began sobbing and as I took her into the living room she sobbed harder.

"What happened to her," I said sternly to Alice.

"Jasper left her."

I felt this anger building inside of me that I'd never felt before. I knew he loved her but why on earth would he do this to her?

"Where is he now?" I asked still holding Bella as she wept in my lap.

"He's back in Washington. He won't give me an explanation as to why he did what he did," Alice said.

I just held Bella as she started to calm down.

"Alice can you give us a few moments alone," I asked.

"Edward I don't think…"

"Please," I asked looking up, pleading.

"Don't do anything else to hurt her or you'll deal with me later," she said.

Aro and Alice walked into the kitchen as I reached for a handkerchief in my pocket. I wiped tears away from Bella's eyes and let her cry as long as she needed to. Her tears turned to sniffles and finally she stopped.

"Edward, why are you here?" she asked from my chest.

"I originally came to stop you, but the more I thought about it I came to give you my blessing."

She looked up and said, "Your blessing?"

"Yes. I knew that you didn't need me being in your business any longer and the only thing I've ever wanted Bella was for you to be happy. I see now that despite that here you are, still not happy despite all my efforts. I feel like I've failed you."

She wiped a tear away from her eyes and said, "Edward, you failed me a long time ago…"

I nodded my head and was about to say something in my defense, but she stopped me.

"However, today you've been here for me and I will never forget that. I'm not saying that I want us to make amends Edward. Please, do not get that wrong. I'm just glad you were here for me."

"Bella, I still care about you regardless. I wasn't the easiest person to get along with once and I wanted to prove that and instead I created so much chaos in your life. I was selfish and you don't deserve that. But what I am asking for is your forgiveness."

She stood and walked towards the window and looked out for a moment. "Edward, you did create chaos in my life, from the moment you had my heart. You took it, abused it and left me needing someone to pick me back up. And when he did, you couldn't handle it. You were always the one who needed the attention and when I no longer wanted to give you that, you created confusion for me."

I folded my hands in my lap and nodded. She was so right.

"I loved Jasper with every fiber of my being," she said. I could see how much it was tearing her up.

"And now he's gone because I couldn't decide."

She looked at me with tears in her eyes again.

I spoke up, "You couldn't decide?"

"Between you or him. Edward, there was a part of me that thought about coming back to you. Honestly. Even last night I stayed up a while debating the topic. But by morning I was ready to marry Jasper. I think it was Karma playing a really, really harsh trick on me. I make my choice and she takes it away from me."

I stood to meet her at the window. "Bella, I never realized the damage I was causing you."

Her eyes met mine, "Edward, you never have. You do things for your own agenda and I'm the one always left holding the broken heart. So when you ask me for forgiveness, that's a really, really tall order."

She walked away from me and grabbed a tissue from the coffee table.

"Edward, I'd like you to go home now. Please. Just let me be alone. Forgiveness will come in time but not today. Today I mourn for the one thing I thought could make me happy. I'm not blaming you completely for this, don't get me wrong. I'm just as guilty but you didn't help matters. I need to be as far away from you as I can be. So please go."

I nodded and walked out the door.

**A/N: No this is not the end…**


	12. The End

_She broke down the other day, yeah you know_  
_Some things in life may change_  
_But some things they stay the same_

_Like time, there's always time_  
_On my mind_  
_So pass me by, I'll be fine_  
_Just give me time_  
_Time, there's always time_  
_On my mind_  
_Pass me by, I'll be fine_  
_Just give me time_

_Damien Rice – Older Chests_

**_Bella_**

Months have passed since the day Jasper left me on my wedding day. I realize now that I was being absolutely selfish and stringing two people along the way I did was the worst possible way to live my life. I was just as guilty as Edward in everything. I am close to forgiving him however in order for me to that, I need to forgive myself first and that isn't coming as easy as one would think.

Edward calls me each day. Sometimes I answer, sometimes I don't. It all depends on how I feel that day. He doesn't bring up Jasper or us, it's a very basic, how are you doing, do you need anything conversation and I'm thankful for that. As much as I want to kick and scream and tell him to go away, it feels great to know that someone worries about me. However, I've made it quite clear that we're not getting back together.

Alice and Aro have been great. I spent another week in Vancouver with Alice and she helped me get through everything. As far as Jasper is concerned, I'm meeting him in a few moments for the first time since that day and I'm absolutely terrified to see him.

Alice filled him in on the conversation that I had with Edward and she said he had no reaction. I'm wondering if it's because he's now feeling indifferent to me or if it's because he's not dealing with it.

So as I sit in the small diner down from work, I watch as Jasper walks towards my table and I catch my breath. He's just as handsome as I remembered him and as he smiled at me, my heart drops to my stomach.

"You look great," he says as I stand to give him a quick hug. We both sit and as the waitress takes our drink orders, the awkward silence fills our ears and finally he speaks up.

"How are you?" he asks.

I smile and say, "Much better, thank you."

"I'm glad to hear that, Bella."

In that one moment I knew that his decision was the best one that could have happened for us. He took control of the situation when I couldn't make the right choices and as much as it hurt me to see him go, I knew he did it for us.

"How are you?" I ask.

He smiles again and says, "Much better, now too."

I laughed and as we talked about the past couple of months, we began to build a bridge back between us. He asked about Edward and I explained how he has pretty much given up on us as a couple and that he's just seeking forgiveness.

Jasper then looked at me and said, "What will it take for you to forgive me?"

I reached for my glass of water, took a small sip and said, "You were forgiven a long time ago, Jasper."

He laughed. "How do I get off so easy and you're making him suffer?"

"Jasper, there wasn't anything to forgive you for. I was the one who created all this and I'm so sorry."

"Bella, you've been through so much. I finally realized myself that you needed space to get you in order. I was so bent on wanting you in my life that I didn't think about what you needed. I'm sorry for that."

"Well, I do appreciate you letting me off so easy. I just can't seem to forgive myself as easy." I picked at the napkin on the table and let out a sigh.

"You should forgive yourself. How else can we work things out?"

I looked up at Jasper and said, "I'm sorry, what?"

"Bella, these past couple of months have been a learning experience for myself. We moved so fast after your divorce and we should have gone slower. I just hope it isn't too late and you'd like to try again. This time, slower, taking time to really get to know one another."

I smiled, my heart full of joy. "I'd like that very much."

"Good, as for now, we're friends. We'll see what happens from there?"

I nodded and said, "Friends sounds good."

So I sat in a diner with my new friend, someone that I appreciated much more than I'd ever before. Glad that at least in some way, he was still in my life.

I couldn't have asked for more.

**~ The End ~**

**A/N: I know that it probably didn't end exactly how everyone wanted it to end but we can't always have a complete HEA. I'm going to let you, as my readers decide if I do an epilogue... and what the epi should be. Until then, I'm happy with Bella and Jasper building back their life together. I started out Indention of the Heart as my own way to deal with my own divorce but now I realize that sometimes we have to work on ourselves before we can make someone else happy. That's what Broken Open was about. I appreciate all the reviews and as always, thank you for reading.**


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